Love Letter #9 ~ The Art of Giving and Receiving Compliments

Dear Self,

Why is it so hard to receive a compliment?  I can give them all day long and to anyone.  It’s easy.  I can pass someone in the store and tell them their earrings are lovely.  Or, I can comment on their shoes.  Sometimes, I simply say they have a nice-looking car.  Most people reply by breaking into a smile and replying.  Others stand stone faced as if they didn’t hear me.  Still some people pass with no eye contact, which is really weird, but I don’t let it get me down.  I smile and keeping going about my day.

But, when someone compliments me, I’m surprised, then flattered. The compliment puts a little more pep in my step.  I’m encouraged to share that good feeling with others.

I recently read I book on the subject of compliments.  The author suggested keeping a running list of compliments that you receive.  That way, when you have those days when you are experiencing low self-esteem, you can read through your list of compliments to remind yourself  of your awesomeness.

So, I decided to give this challenge a try.  I keep a small notepad in my bag and another in the cupholder in my car.  Actually, I have them in a lot of places, but these two spots are the handiest.  Anyway, my first compliment came while having lunch with a friend.  During the conversation, she said I was smart.  I whipped out my notepad and wrote that down.  When she asked what I was doing, I told her.  She thought it was interesting.

The next time I was complimented, I was chatting with a different friend who told me that she liked talking to me because I had a lot of creative ideas. My chest puffed up a bit as I wrote that down.  Then, when my partner was peppering me with compliments, I pulled out my notepad in the middle of his delivery to capture what I could.  When he finished, I was still writing.  I know, it was rude, but when I finished, I explained to him what I was doing.  Then he said, “That’s what I love about you.  You have a unique way of seeing things.”

Meanwhile, I continue to jot down compliments.  When I review my list, many times I can remember the conversation I was having and who gave me the flower.  I relish in what was said, not only because it feels good, but I learn things others see in me that I hadn’t recognized.   When I really think about it, others tell me how I shine when they give me a compliment.  And, it’s not hard to accept a compliment— I simply say “thank you.”

I recommend others start a book of compliments.  But, not just about the compliments you receive, but how others respond when you give one.  The experience is rewarding, whether giving or receiving. 

Thank you, Self, for reminding me that everyone has something remarkable to offer.

Love,

Self